Before I finish my lunch break, I just wanna share this video (I stitched from clips) of our pole classes since I rejoined Polecats. Today marks 2 months of me getting back to pole and I am ecstatic about my progress not only in my physical quest for fitness but more so in looking after my mental health. 

Truth be told, I have been depressed for months now. Days have been a roller coaster of dark and sparkly emotions. Though I appear light and carefree, on occasions I cry ugly a lot. 

Topics, places, food, scents, friends, music—these could trigger negative mood changes but each day I learn to manage better. 

Thanks to pole (and Muay Thai) classes, sensitive topics have become a laughing matter. Places that used to haunt look lovely to visit again. Meal preparation and dining are enjoyable once more. Scents and friends don’t give me anxiety anymore. Music evolves these days to touch me with a sense of awe instead of grief. Just like this Tagalog song by Angela Ken entitled “Ako naman muna”. 

I am sure many of you could relate to its lyrics. You’d probably appreciate its rhythm or the voice of the artist. But to me its all things. And I cannot think of any song better to use for the video to celebrate my pole achievement at this point than this masterpiece that truly hits home. 

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A post shared by Erica Poyauan (@thegirlwiththemujihat)

I hope for two things:

(1) That you enjoy watching the video albeit its lack of dance musicality. But hey! I’ve got an awesome pole instructor/ professional choreographer Ahlex Leyva! Surely it won’t take long to improve! 

(2) And the other thing, I hope you experience the healing impact of the song in the background. If you are going through a difficult time, if you are having a hard time keeping up with life, know that many of us do—many of us fall under the pits of despair and hopelessness—and this fact should in no way invalidate what you are going through but rather enforce a sense of community. You are not alone. And as others climb up to get out of the pit, you too can muster the strength to escape. Maybe not today but eventually you will. 


There is no guilt in putting yourself first because when you take care of ‘you’ first, you’re able to take care of others genuinely without expecting anything in return. 

#polestories #polejourney #selflove #polecats #spinnypole