In life, we often encounter people who reflect aspects of ourselves, both good and bad. Does a problematic person in our life mean we are bad? Maybe. But it could also mean there are lessons from our past that need healing.

Recently, a wearisome encounter with a person I trusted taught me the importance of accountability, grit, and forgiveness. Looking back, I admit my younger self was flawed – selfish, lazy, and arrogant (maybe even an a**hole to several people). Over the years, I’ve worked hard to improve, yet challenges persist.

Perhaps, these challenges are opportunities for my further growth? I should really keep thinking this way… so what happened really?

I won’t bore you with the sentimental details of the ordeal, but in brief, I experienced betrayal, both emotionally and financially. It pushed me into a corner, leading to decisions that, in retrospect, may not have been the wisest. The emotional toll was immense. I cried a lot. It took me a lot of energy to show up daily. Some days I failed to…

On the supposed last day of dealing with this problem, a wave of relief washed over me, and I felt vindicated knowing that my concerns were acknowledged. During this time, I really felt I was heard. The biggest problem for me going through it all was I felt quite isolated—not because my husband wasn’t supportive (he truly was), but I hesitated to fully express my frustration (maybe also my anger or my fear), not wanting to burden him. Given his work in helping others heal, I always believed that adding my stress to his plate might hinder his effectiveness. And, most importantly, I never want to burden or worry my husband in any way. Even with my mom and my sister, my go-to listeners, I didn’t share the full extent of what I have been going through deep down. At 37 years old, I believe this is the time to step up, own my actions, and embrace my emotions. But HONESTLY, navigating through the chaos in my head while juggling roles as a wife, mother, friend, business owner was freaking challenging. It took much time and effort, and still I found myself seriously lost in the process. It was draining.

As much as I wanted to keep everything inside, the universe provided people who would listen to me. Some have experienced similar challenges and more, yet they emerged stronger. One of them is my business mentor, whom I recently connected with through a business network. I was quickly reminded that some people go the extra mile to lend a helping hand not to gain anything but just because they can help and they wanted to help.

Another person is my bookkeeper, who shared her inspiring journey with me. Her story resonated deeply – a tale of a single woman with five children, starting with nothing but working her way up to put all her kids through school. Now, three of them are successful professionals, with one even thriving as a Med Tech in the US. Remarkably, she faced the challenges of being a single mom, just like I did at 24 when she was 19. Living with an unsupportive and abusive partner, she maintained her integrity throughout. As we walked to withdraw the money I needed to pay for the settlement, she uttered reassuring words in her husky, firm, yet sweet voice: “Stop crying miss. Hold your head up high. You know at the end of it all, no one can ever bring down a good woman.”

Wow. Those words deeply hit home. The people who truly matter in my life were right all along. I have the strength to confront challenges directly. Now is the time to stand tall, shift my mindset, and not let anyone bring me down.

I realized, I had been focusing on the wrong side of things, looking at the scenario with a mindset that “oh, why I always meet the wrong people”, without really looking into the “learning side” – in the wise words of my husband “the opportunity to be the best version of me”, work on the things that I could improve which I have always aspired…

Truly our business is growing, and the recent incident wasn’t just about personal change; it was a chance to improve procedures, understand legalities, and respond promptly. Successful individuals, like my husband, face challenges “without a flinch”, showing up NO MATTER WHAT.

What needs changing in me? I must park my emotions, cultivate discipline, and embrace grit without compromising integrity. These shifts are my recipe to success.

Parting Words

Forgiveness is key. When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that person was right, or you were wrong, and it doesn’t mean you’re better if the other person behaved poorly. NO! It simply is about MOVING FORWARD WITHOUT CARRYING A HEAVY BURDEN. It’s a way to free yourself and show love to yourself, avoiding the trap of negative emotions and allowing for yourself to properly heal and grow.

This blog may seem selfish, a cathartic release for me, but I hope it resonates with you. Life’s challenges are universal, and in sharing my story, I aim to inspire self-reflection and growth. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

#SelfReflection #GrowthJourney #LifeLessons